Dairy Oblivion
When a challenge has presented itself, few turn it down. People may say it’s impossible, and it may be, but you try it anyway. Which is why I am telling you this right now. A challenge was brought forth from a wayward traveler, his name was Kyle. This so called challenge was attempted by many, all of which had failed. Was Kyle and myself worthy enough to complete to a grueling and death defying challenge? Of course we were. Which was why we did it. We traveled to the town market (Kroger) in dier need of supplies. The local farmer (Lyle, i think he worked cashier) pointed us in the direction of the dairy barn at the back of the market. On our journey to the dairy barn, we came across many items of interest, this market had many treasures from snacks to trinkets. We would not let our selves stray away from the task at hand, even though this big, dark, negro woman named Aunt Jemima, was shaking it like an Africa goddess and had Kyle and I mezmerized. Kyle was almost pulled in by her child bearing hips, swaying from side to side, as her orb like frontal ass was showing a little bit, I about lost Kyle, she almost sent him to chocolate heaven. We finally made it to the dairy barn, where a little servant girl was milking the family bull for it’s liquids to sell. We pointed and said “two please”. The servant girl then removed her potatoe sack underwear and pinched off a hot piping loaf right there in front of our eyes. We gave her some money for the show and she gave us two gallons of milk for the journey, one of which was mine and one of which was Kyles. We headed back to the cottage at the top of the hill. We arrived just as the sun was setting. Kyle and myself had overheard some peasants talking on our journey home. They spoke of the magical bull that provides the town with the dairy goodness and that every 10 years it makes two gallons of magical heaven. We had this feeling deep down in our stomachs that these gallons in which we had received, would be the gallons of magical deliciousness. But, they spoke of the hour plus 20 challenge that must be accomplished before magical deliciousness was acquired. Which consisted of drinking the gallon of bulls milk in an hour and 20 minutes. Kyle and I was convinced that we were able to complete the challenge, so we both started chugging. Everything was going fine for the two of us until only a gallon remained, half of Kyles and half of my own. The feeling was like a donkey was trapped in our stomachs and was trying to kick it’s way out. We carried on, and things just got worse from there, a little of half of Kyles was gone, and his stomach demons rejected the magical deliciousness feeling and banned the milk from his body. It was banned all of the stone walkway of the cottage down the hill from there own. The feeling of disappointment had risen in Kyle. He laid himself down on the hay stacks covered in cloth and cheered on his friend (myself). About 20 minutes had past, and things were looking good for me. The gallon was nearly empty, although the donkey feeling had overcome me as well. We moved ourselves outside the cottage so the stomach demons wouldn’t make a mess of the place. At this point I was about to erupt. Our servant boy (Chris) was keeping records of the event and suggested I try to finish it in one last chug. I agreed and started to chug that which was the last of the challenge of deliciousness. Not even a couple seconds after the milk had went into my throat, i could feel something coming up, this was the failure moment, i too started to cover the stone walk way with milk which my body had rejected. I was disappointed. There I stand….looking at what was once our quest…..for magical delicousness. THE END
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